Posted by: jbiggars63 | March 15, 2012

Sometimes You Just Have to Shrug it off!

While I get lots of positive feedback from lots of people from around the world about my story, it still amazes me that there are lots of “haters” out there!  The recent article in Wall Street Journal really points out one of the issues those of us that have to fight weight issues on a daily basis must face!  While, no where in the article does my wife mention her weight issues were caused by other people, there were comments left that were very demeaning!  Read the whole article HERE!  Now, the title could have been better as it leads you to believe co-workers can make you fat.  Well, Shawna and I were already fat!  We were trying to lose weight and dieting and we were having to deal with peer pressure and the added temptations that the wrong kind of foods being put in front of your face can bring on!  Some people have no compassion or sympathy and I wonder how they were raised! Comments like:

Newsflash: NO ONE can make you fat. No one can force food down your throat. I work in a busy setting where food is brought in all the time. We work long shifts, including night shifts. You don’t have to eat the food. It is your choice. Keep blaming everyone, but ultimately it comes down to the decisions you make about your own body. Blame your mom, blame your coworkers, blame the spouse, but just PUT DOWN THE FOOD, or better yet, don’t touch it in the first place.


I wish I could like this a zillion times


I have been forced by my family, people at work, television, movies, and my work schedule, to eat garbage and eat too much of it. I am a victim and demand compensation. Now…if I could just find a lawyer who would want to sue someone or something………


I find this article very strange and irrelevant.

Whatever happened to free will?

In all my life, I have never been forced to eat or drink anything by my colleagues or even higher-ups. I am a very athletic, and have taken a very principled stand as what I will eat and drink.

I have hosted and been to innumerable lunches/dinners/parties with colleagues and guests, but have always had what I wanted. Neither have I ever forced anyone to have anything. My peers respect me for the same.

I don’t even come off as boorish when I refuse folks’ offer, because I do it very politely but firmly.


Some people do not understand the concept of not giving in to peer pressure.


Blame anyone but yourself.

Self responsibility.


Oh brother! Some of these had me seething!  But on the other hand, there were several very good responses to the ignorance posted by those that have no clue what we have and are going through!  Here is one of the best ones!

I liked the article. My comment is actually a reflection on the comments I read after the article. I don’t know why I am surprised that people respond the way they do, but I found myself shaking my head in wonder. There are so many misconceptions out there about overweight/obese people and their thoughts/eating habits. And instead of trying to become educated and separate the truths from the myths, people just make assumptions and speak out based on those, often incorrect assumptions.

Here are my thoughts: Yes, ultimately what you eat is your responsibility and yours alone. However, peer pressure is a big deal for many people, as is the ability to say no. Not everyone can turn away from chocolate cake or fried food or whatever. There are a lot of reasons for this and I think it’s unfair that people are quick to judge those who can’t walk away without indulging. It’s true no one can force you to eat something, but to some that peer pressure is as good as forcing them. It’s hard to change unhealthy habits to healthy ones and one of the big challenges faced in doing this is learning how to say no or not give in to peer pressure.

I think most people who have never had a serious weight problem are hard-pressed to understand an issue like this. It’s not just physical, it’s psychological. I know it is difficult to fully grasp all the emotion, feelings and thoughts wrapped up in an issue that feels foreign to us (like over-eating), but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to understand or at the very least be empathetic. Some of these comments lack that empathy, which is sad to me.

So I guess what I am saying is don’t assume everyone can say no or that making the choice to abstain is an easy one for all people. Understand that people do have emotion/physical/cognitive issues surrounding food that you may not get, but the least you can do is respect their difficulties and be empathic. Don’t judge, don’t assume and instead, try to respect their struggles.


Wonderful response! So, I guess the one thing I learned from this article was that, unfortunately it seems, those of us that have to deal with weight issues will always have to deal with those perfect people out there that think they know everything and are better then us because they were never heavy and are never tempted!  🙂  Whatever!  We have each other and that is all I need!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: